Barbie, you get me.

Listen up ladies! My childhood idol just said everything I ever needed to learn about depression, and I could not be more proud. I started this blog to discuss struggles that I had been facing my twenties in hopes to connect or inspire other women in their twenties. If you have ever felt lost, sad or depressed, you know how debilitating it may feel and how hard it is come back from those feelings of deep sadness.

While on Facebook, I came across a video of Barbie in a Vlog format. Growing up, I loved Barbie dolls. She was fun, beautiful, but most of all smart. In more recent years, I noticed that Barbie began to get a bad reputation, primarily based on her unrealistic figure.

Today, I am proud to see Barbie take on YouTube with her very own Vlog, specifically because of this topic. In the below video, Barbie describes how on occasion she feels an overwhelming sadness, but more importantly how she tries to cheer herself up in these moments. Barbie even goes on to explain that these feelings are completely normal and that remembering that helps her feel better.

While I have felt moments of sadness myself, I can safely say it takes time to learn how to handle these dark feelings. I love that Barbie has brought mindfulness to light for younger girls. I had my own feelings of stress when I was little, and I am sure if I had the right tools I would have been better at managing my feelings later in life. Thank you Barbie!

Let’s Revisit Vulnerability

In one of my earlier posts, I posted one of my favorite Ted Talks. The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown encouraged me to embrace vulnerability as it is part of being human. However, through the last few months, I have felt rather down about myself in different facets. This happens every now and then, depending on what is going on in my life. In a crowd of friends, I seem perfectly normal, maybe I might start out quieter than normal. But eventually, I find my usual social spirit, cracking jokes or gossiping over junk TV. Yet in quiet moments, I notice that my self-esteem is low. I turn to others to provide reassurance in different ways. I look to my family to see that I am supported and loved; I look to my boyfriend to see that I am beautiful and desired. I look to my girlfriends to see that I can still connect with others who may have similar moments and struggles.

What is difficult about these moments, it starts out in one facet of my life, and trickles further into other facets, like a domino effect. Most of the time, it all stems from work, then over time I don’t have the energy or desire to exercise. I begin to feel fatigued and unhealthy. I am disconnected from myself and the world around me.

I realized what I was truly feeling was worthless, that I am not enough. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, fit enough. I thought back on this Ted Talk and remembered at the core of Brené’s presentation was worthiness and belonging, and I knew I had to listen to it.  As much as I was telling myself, yes, I am vulnerable, I wasn’t really accepting my vulnerability. I was choosing to neglect my feelings of shame and failure, and in doing so, I was also neglecting feelings of joy and happiness. This week, I received a very exciting job offer, but I proceeded to feel nervous and anxious about it. I was not being fair to myself because I did not feel worthy of this success.

“You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects or emotions… so when we numb, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness. We are miserable and we are looking for purpose and meaning.”

I can only hope that my attitude towards myself changes in the next few weeks because I really do deserve this. I am posting this video again, as a reminder that we all need to circle back to this topic, just like we may circle back to a cycle this vicious.

My advice for a college senior

Welcome to summer! This truly is the most wonderful time of the year. My brother is going to be a senior in college, and as much as he definitely does not read this blog, I figured it was a great way to reflect on that moment in my life.

The summer into senior year, I was living in Baltimore for an internship, and I was still counting the days until I turned 21.I look back on that experience with such fond memories as I was sharing an apartment with one of my best friends. I was excited to begin to earn some real money and wear dressy clothes to work.

With this in mind, I wanted to share a few of my big learnings from senior year.

1. Get excited!

Every other girl in my sorority never spoke of the dreaded “G” word, but I’m here to tell you to GET EXCITED! All good things do come to an end, but make sure you enjoy your senior year (safely). Don’t leave college with any regrets or what ifs. Make this year the year to remember and be sure to leave it knowing you did everything you wanted.

2. Plan your next steps

Whether that includes your first full-time job, further education, or chasing your dreams. Be sure to think carefully about what you will do post-grad. It may be scary, but take these steps one day at a time. Today, I will apply online… Today, I have a call with HR to discuss my interest…Today, I have an interview… Today, I got an offer…

3. Don’t forget to study

Keep that eye on the diploma. You still need to work hard and finish strong. I was a part-time student senior year, which made studying that much harder for me. I was only taking one or two last elective classes, so it was definitely difficult to motivate myself as I was interning 19 hours per week.

4. Remember your friends/relationships

This is the time to reaffirm to your friends how much they mean to you. After graduating, maintaining those friendships takes a little bit more effort. All the friends and connections you made are still your friends! You might not see everyone every day, but remember to stay in touch.