I know I have been a little MIA for the last month. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve also been a little MIA with myself. I’ve felt complacent, unmotivated, and just straight up exhausted.
I have gone through quite a bit of change as I have started a new job. As always, with change come uncertainty, and what feels like more change. Nevertheless, I persist to push myself, only to find myself pushing right back. What I mean by that is, I am my own adversary. While I try to maintain my awareness of this, I still feel stuck right where I am.
These ebb and flows are natural. No one can be perfect, and as much as I admit it out loud, I still have trouble accepting that fact. I keep telling myself that I am surviving, when in fact I’m not doing anything to survive at all.
I have been beating up myself over what I think I should be doing, then I remain complacent, watching a Bravo TV rerun for the 3rd time.
“I should be making a more conscious effort to work out. I should be making a more conscious effort to enjoy life and those around me.”
Saying “I should” is so easy to point out, yet not useful enough. It doesn’t quite get me anywhere at the end of the day. A more helpful perspective I should be taking is focusing on self love and encouragement (see what I did there?).
It’s not enough to just say I am surviving. My second wind is around the corner. I can feel it.